Christmas is coming.
Are you coming along for the ride or are you dragging your feet – none too eager to perhaps repeat what you experienced this Thanksgiving or in Christmas’ past?
Sensitive and Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s) are often quite conscientious and want the people around them during the holiday festivities and especially their dear ones, no matter how trying, to enjoy themselves at this special time.
Yet, these sensitive folks often forget to put themselves in this special category of deserving a good time. Is this you? How do you feel when you remember your last holiday spent with family?
Wait! Before you quit reading because it may be too painful to think about – I’d like to ask you what would make the upcoming holiday one that you could enjoy? Maybe not every single moment, but a lot more than in the past.
How do you want to feel during your visit with your relatives or in-laws? How do you want to feel after the holiday?
I remember going to visit a future roommate several days after she had returned home from seeing out-of-town relatives at Christmas. She still felt quite fragile. She said she was still recovering and had transitioned from crying to needing a lot of time alone.
How much better it would have been for her if she had taken time each day of her visit to be by herself and check-in to discover what she needed to feel good about herself.
And yes, you do deserve this during the holidays.
The holidays were intended to be joyous and a time to reconnect with our relations with special rituals we repeat every year, such as Christmas Eve dinner and gift-giving on Christmas morning; traditions that we observe in my family.
They were not meant to be the painful duty to old beliefs we were brought up with, such as that we need to be with our relatives every waking moment.
So, when, where and how can you create some quiet time for yourself each day? Be sure to plan that private time into your visit or you will more than likely slide into your old, automatic habits fostered by those old beliefs.
Here are some suggestions for you:
1. Bring a good book along to read. A book you really enjoy can take you to another place and time to create a feeling of pleasant escape.
2. Bring a craft project. I remember my mother actually being happy that I was taking quiet time to bead a bracelet for her. She looked forward to seeing the progress on her bracelet.
3. Exercise is really the best way to de-stress and relax. You’ll enjoy those relaxing endorphins for hours after your physical activity.
Can you go out for walks or snowy activities or use exercise equipment? I always bring my cross-country skis. It gives me a way to escape the tedium of being indoors all the time and go out into the woods and open spaces of the nearby parks. And then, I can share my experience with the folks who stayed indoors.
What ways do you already use to relax? How can you continue them during their visit or bring them along with you?
Telling your relatives how you’ll be taking time to recharge yourself helps to prevent hurt feelings, you feeling guilty and trying to make them feel better (and you ending up feeling worse). And, you may even discover that some family members welcome having some time for themselves too.
Let me know how your holiday quiet time works for you.
Love and Happy Holidays,
