Don’t forget yourself on Valentine’s Day!

We usually think of Valentine’s Day as celebrating romantic love. But what if we expand it to include love and compassion for ourselves?

What are some reasons for this?

If you have a romantic partner or you’d like one:
We can only treat another person as well as we treat ourselves. This goes for all our relationships: friends and family, too.

If you want to enjoy your life just as it is now, with or without a romantic partner – you’re the one you’re always with.

So, why not show appreciation and love for you – this Valentine’s Day?

This is how I celebrated Valentine’s Day one year. I had a crummy boyfriend years ago. (I actually had several but that’s all in the past now.) I bought the crummy boyfriend a bouquet of flowers and took them over to his home. I knew he wouldn’t buy me one, so I also bought a bouquet for myself. 

I now realize I would have felt much happier if I’d skipped the flowers for him and only gotten one bouquet for me! So, how would you like to show appreciation and love for yourself?

What would make you feel nourished? Would you love some fragrant flowers? Would a flowering plant cheer you and light up your home?

A friend of mine loves to take bubble baths by candlelight. She has a special waterproof pillow just for her bathtub so she can truly relax. She often reads books in her “home spa”.

What self-care have you been dreaming of?

How would you like to show some love and appreciation for yourself?

I invite you to pick something and then do it. It doesn’t have to cost a thing. However, it needs to be something you’ve been wanting to do – just for you! 

Then, please reply to this email and let me know what you’ve chosen and how it makes you feel.

Thank you so much for being part of my community!

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Happy New Year!

What do you want to create in 2022?

It really helps to create an inspiring vision for your new year, to help you get clear on what you really and truly desire. Here are some steps to help you do that. 

How you want to feel?
Are you wanting to feel more worthy, more often? This is what self-esteem is all about.
Are you wanting to quit comparing yourself badly to the people around you?
Are you wanting to feel more comfortable – just being you?
Are you wanting to feel more confident? 

If you said yes to any of these questions, a very good place to start is looking at your results from the Self-Esteem and Confidence Assessment in my Self-Esteem and Confidence Starter Kit.

If you’re not subscribed to my ezine, you can get it at: innerpeaceandpurpose.com

If you’re already a member of my community, and you signed up to get it sometime in past, just search on “Self-Esteem Starter Kit” in your email. If you can’t find it, let me know and I’ll help you.

You can use the results from the Self-Esteem and Confidence Assessment to identify where in your life you want to focus on growing your self-esteem and confidence this year.

Focusing on your relationship with yourself is essential. 
This relationship includes how your Inner Critic is impacting you and also how you treat yourself – in your self-talk and in your actions.

You can only grow your self-esteem as you grow in treating yourself better. And did you know that you teach others how to treat you – based on how you treat yourself?

Next, looking at your results from the Self-Esteem and Confidence Assessment, what are the two other life areas you want to focus on growing more happiness and success in your life this year? 

Life Area One: _______________________________
Just brainstorm here. Write without editing. 
    • How do you want to feel about this area of your life – by the end of the year? 
    • What do you want to make a reality this year?
    • What’s your BIG WHY? How will this benefit the people dear to you?
    • What can you do to make it fun?
    • What support would make it much easier for you to achieve this?

Life Area Two: _______________________________
Just brainstorm here. Write without editing. 
    • How do you want to feel about this area of your life – by the end of the year? 
    • What do you want to make a reality this year?
    • What’s your BIG WHY? How will this benefit the people dear to you?
    • What can you do to make it fun?
    • What support would make it much easier for you to achieve this? 

It’s easy to identify your dreams and then go back to life as usual. Here’s what you can do: 
Put a very short description of each dream on a post-it note. Put them where you’ll see them every day.

Be sure to get that support you’ve identified. It’s so much easier and fun with support and mentoring.

If you’d like to check out working with me, Click here to schedule with me.
We’ll have a quick 15-minute call to find out if working together is the next right step for each of us.  Next time, I’ll be talking about the power of your comfort zone. Thank you so much for being part of my community!

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What Can Self-Love Do for You?

Today is my anniversary so I thought I’d send this to you today.

February and Valentine’s Day are usually thought of the time to express love and appreciation to your loved one. Yet, being kind and considerate to another person is difficult if you are feeling overextended, overwhelmed, or worn out. Love begins with being kind to yourself. Love begins with self-love.

Just as with love, self-love is about connection – reconnecting on a daily basis with what makes you feel nourished and grounded. And, it doesn’t even have to take much time.

An easy way to do this is taking a few moments here and there to pause and ask yourself, “What do I need now?” Allow an answer to come to you. At first you may simply hear your mind rattling off all the things you need to do. Or, you may hear your Inner Critic telling you, “You really don’t have time for this!” You can tell it to hush. Then, ask again. “What do I need now?”

It can be as simple as taking an eye break from the computer while you enjoy looking at the outdoors. Or, it can be enjoying the outdoors even more by going for a walk. It may be promising yourself a luxurious bubble bath this evening.

What self-love have you been yearning for?
What self-love are you longing to indulge in – if even for just a few minutes?
What would nourish your peace of mind?
What would make you feel happy, deep down to your toes?
Close your eyes and listen in. Then, write your answers down.

Most likely, you will need to say “No” to something to free up some time and energy for yourself.
What do you want to say “No” to?
Don’t be concerned right now about whether or not you think you can say “No” to it. Just ask, “What do I want to say “No” to?” Write that answer down, too.

Then, ask yourself, “What do I want to say “Yes” to?” Once, again just let the ideas come to you. Trying to figure it out will give you the same old answers your mind always gives you and won’t create peace of mind.

Here’s what came up for me:
Let go of staying awake worrying about having too much on my to-do list!
Meditate on allowing in more joy!

I’d love to hear what answers you receive. Just reply to this email.

What topics would you like to read about in this ezine? They could be self-love, your inner critic, saying “No”, creating peace of mind, and more. You can reply to this email.

Are you ready to say “Yes!” to less stress and more self-love in your life? Click here to sign up for a complimentary Empowering Self-Esteem & Confidence Strategy Consultation with me.

  • I will help you clearly identify what you’re desiring to be experiencing and achieving in your life now and how you want to grow your self-esteem and confidence.
  • We’ll look, with compassion, at what’s blocking you, including your Inner Critic.
  • I’ll suggest strategies for you to grow your peace of mind, self-esteem and confidence quickly.

    • Love, Annie
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Appreciating Yourself at Year’s End

Are you looking forward to this year being over? This has been a very tough year!

Yet, before you boot the year out the door, yes, even this one, I don’t want you to miss out on the opportunity to see how you can leave it in the past where it belongs.

Here’s how you can do this. First, acknowledge yourself. What are three things were most tough for you this year – that you made it through?

Writing it down can help to get those stresses out of your mind and onto the page. It can allow your mind to rest awhile, knowing that it doesn’t need to constantly remind you.

If it felt like you were just putting one foot ahead of the other while you just kept plodding along, acknowledge your courage. Yes, it takes courage to not give up and keep going. It takes commitment to keep on going.

Did you learn anything about yourself from going through these challenges? Did they cause you to grow in some way? Write that down too. It’s actually good to acknowledge yourself for your positive qualities. You would certainly do that for a loved one. You can do it for yourself, too.

So many of us have lost loved ones. Did you lose someone dear to you?
Be sure to let yourself grieve. Not allowing yourself to feel the sad feelings can make grief last even longer. I suggest you pick a happy memory of time you spent together. You can place the memory in your heart and return to it whenever you wish. Honoring their memory and your relationship is healing.

This next step is so often forgotten. What’s a success you’ve had this year? It doesn’t have to be huge. What is something you did that if someone else did it, you would think highly of them for it?

It’s good to turn the sunshine on yourself. It can light you up and give you the inspiration to create more successes you are proud of. It can also light the way for someone else – helping them feel good and feeling hopeful.

What is one very good thing that happened in your life this year? Close your eyes and savor that memory. As much as you are able, see it and feel it in your body. Seal it in. You can return to this memory and savor it again.

Let me know what you discover. I love hearing from you.

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Happy Love Day to You!

I say Valentine’s Day isn’t just about showing your beloved you adore them. You can really only express love to the degree you love yourself! So how about showing yourself some love today!

Here’s an easy way to do this:

Close your eyes. Place your hand on your heart and take 3 deep breaths. With each exhale, breathe out any tension you are feeling.

Now, ask your heart what you can do today to love yourself.

Listen in to your heart.

Then, open your eyes and write down what your heart has told you.

Make sure you do it – today!

Here are some additional ideas for you:

  • Make a Valentine for yourself. Place it where you’ll see it often.
  • Write down 3 things you feel grateful for and feel into that gratitude. You get extra credit if they are things you admire about yourself.
  • Buy yourself flowers and enjoy their vibrant beauty and fragrance.
  • Journal about how you can show yourself – that you love you. Or, how you would like to.
  • Take a steamy and relaxing bubble bath with candles lighting up the bath.

Please let me know what you hear from your heart and how you show yourself love today.

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Stepping into Your New Year – Feeling Inspired

The New Year is a powerful time of year – a time to set intentions for how you want to live this upcoming year of your life. The best way to do this is to focus on what would inspire you, and how you can bring out the best in yourself.

Identifying a quality you want to focus on developing this year is a great way to do this. The quality I’ve chosen for myself is confidence. What is yours?

Now, that you have your quality, what habit do you need to focus on letting go of this year? 

I used to have a habit of hiding – not speaking up to reveal my opinions. 

What habit would you like to focus on letting go of this year – that would help you nurture your quality?

Not sure?

Taking the quick self-assessments in my Self-Esteem Starter Kit can help – especially the How’s Your Self-Esteem? and Are You a People-Pleaser? Assessments. 

I’d love to hear what inspires you for this new year of your life.

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Are you listening to me, or yourself?

I’ve been quiet for a while because I spent several weeks last month recuperating from what is considered a routine exam at the doctor’s office. Having a highly sensitive body can be especially challenging sometimes. And, what they say about our bodies becoming even more sensitive as we get older, I’ve discovered is true. Perhaps, you have too?

So, I was reluctant to return to the doctor and report how my body had responded. I was afraid she’s want to poke around and cause a flare-up of the pain I was slowly leaving behind as I recuperated.

Yet, everyone I spoke to about it encouraged me to go back. So, I finally did, when I was starting to feel better.

Have you ever spoken to someone who appears to be listening to you but at almost every opportunity tells you about their situation, as if it was true for you too? I know you have if you’re a recovering people-pleaser or highly sensitive. We listen with caring and respect and too often others seem to be listening but are really listening for how they can talk about themselves. That’s how it’s been with this new doctor for me.

What I find interesting is that having a productive and low stress conversation with people like this may be possible. But, I’m really not sure. I’m certainly more assertive than I used to be but I find I have more difficulty being assertive with someone when I don’t know them well and am just developing a relationship with them; like this doctor.

Unless I really needed to speak again to someone who communicates this way, I wouldn’t, so I most likely wouldn’t develop a relationship with them. That can make it feel difficult when we do need to talk to them again, like I needed to tell this doctor what had happened.

I also don’t like having to back up everything I say to prove my point. This feels like arguing to me which I really dislike and leaves me wanting to retreat to peace and quiet afterwards.

What I think would be far more productive in speaking with a doctor, would be to find one who is sensitive and caring, a great listener, and is willing to offer and discuss possible options with their patients. And, perhaps most importantly, is willing to acknowledge that their patient knows a great deal about their body. (I really do hate that word, “patient”! We’re clients, not people patiently waiting in the waiting room, patiently waiting to be cured by them!)

There are a few medical personnel like that out there. My nurse practitioner in Michigan was like that. So, I’m out to find one. I hope you are inspired to find one too, if you’re needing more attentive care.

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Happy Valentine’s Day to You!

Happy Valentine’s Day to You!

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to just be about expressing your love to another person. Indeed, we can only extend as much love to another as we’re able to receive or send our own way.

So, I invite you to look within your own life – where do you not love and treat yourself with compassion?

Does your inner critic say mean things to you and you listen to her?

Do you procrastinate and worry about it?

Do you expect yourself to be perfect, even though you are human?

Are you waiting to be kind to yourself – when you get that new job, lose that extra weight, do a certain task perfectly, or – you can fill in the blank here.

If you’re doing any of these things, I invite you to simply notice. There’s no reason to beat yourself up about it.

And, I invite you, on this Valentine’s Day, to pick one thing you will do today to show yourself love and compassion.

Here’s some ideas for you:

Buy yourself flowers and really notice how beautiful they are.

Spend time out in nature and let it nourish you.

Go out in the sunshine and breathe it in – breathe it in deeply until you feel completely filled with sunshine!

Call or visit someone you feel really alive with. If it’s someone you haven’t connected with in awhile – even better!

If you’re daring and want to really enjoy feeling loved – I encourage you to
buy yourself a valentine, and write a love note of appreciation – to you.

Listen in to your heart and see what calls to you! Then do it!

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What’s Stressing You Out?

Stress is a part of life. Yes, there I said it. You might not like it but I’m sure you agree. Now, I believe that a little stress is even good for you. Stress gives us that adrenaline boost when we’re doing something new, making us more alert and feeling more alive. And, that’s certainly how I’m feeling when I’m sea kayaking out on the huge waves on Lake Michigan or Lake Superior.

Yet as you know, too much stress gives you a headache, disrupts your digestion and burns up your precious life force energy. Stress can also make you irritable and feeling overwhelmed and long-term stress like this will make you feel like your life is a struggle. This happens to people-pleasing and sensitive women way too often and I want to help you bust your stress so you can feel incredible and really shine.

Here are some steps you can take to bust that stress:

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Ten Ways to Love Yourself on Valentine’s Day and Beyond

1. Listen in to your heart everyday to discover how you can love yourself and let go of trying so hard and live life one step at a time.

You can use the meditation, Listening in to the Wisdom of Your Heart, that’sin your Inner Peace and Purpose Starter Kit. If you don’t know where it’s gone to, search for “Annie Notestein” in your email’s inbox.

2. Notice when you are judging or criticizing yourself

Is this really helping you to do something even better? If it is, then perhaps there’s a tiny bit of value in all that criticism.

If you want to learn from what you may have done wrong, get out your journal and write down what you’ve learned. Then, remember it’s not possible to be perfect all the time – you are human.

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